 Why Women are Better Than Men
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| 1. We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of
cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic
legs. |
| 2. We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect
of our sexuality. |
| 3. When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll
it's sad. |
| 4. We can use cosmetics should we wake up looking like something the
cat dragged in. |
| 5. We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a
short woman's complex. |
| 6. We don't have to get our strength up between sessions... and
it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place. |
| 7. We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old
perverts. |
| 8. We never ejaculate prematurely. |
| 9. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder
excuses. |
| 10. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our
calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. |
| 11. We know that Tetris is the computer game to end all games. |
| 12. We got off the Titanic first. |
| 13. Our boyfriends' clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they
look like complete dicks in ours. |
| 14. We have total control over our eyebrows. |
| 15. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. |
| 16. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy. |
| 17. We can cry and get off speeding fines. |
| 18. The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts... and
pool... and football. |
| 19. We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing
inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers... men die earlier
so we get to cash in on the life insurance. |
| 20. We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct
correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our
genitals. |
| 21. Taxis stop for us. |
| 22. We get drunk quicker and cheaper. |
| 23. We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order.
Ever. |
| 24. We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in
a computer game. |
| 25. It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner
workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look
INCREDIBLY cool if we do. |
| 26. We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever. |
| 27. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. |
