The Sexy, Sensuous God
by reverend Charles M. Bidwell, PhD
March, 2005

Okay, so I'm not sold on God being a man or in fact being any personification, but just for the sake of speculative theology, let's imaging God the Creator Almighty fashioning the universe and seeing that it ticks along marvellously well -- galaxies forming, solar systems taking shape, suns and planets congealing and then some of these having satellite bodies and rings and things.

Then God says “Let there be active cycles of land and liquid on some of these planets.” And God makes it so.

After a few millennia or milliseconds (who knows?) God thinks “It's like clockwork. It runs on its own and there's nothing more for me to do. Boring!”

After a session on the pond of despond, God gets another great idea. “I'll make living creatures that are not so predictable. Hell, I'll even give them free will and brains to think up new ways of being and relating. That should be fun to watch and wonder at what they are thinking when they make their choices.” So God made all living creatures and set them free to develop and evolve and mutate and anything else they wanted to do. “This is better than television -- this watching and wondering” thought God.

After a while, you get tired of just sitting and watching and thinking; it's all head stuff and no heart - no sensations - no feelings - so God make people who could talk to God and feel things that God couldn't feel - like a hug. I mean who's around to hug God?

God created humans for more than just to watch what they do. Humans can talk and they can feel all sorts of sensations. They can make love and massage each other and sense ranges of sensations from heat to cold and sweet to sour and bright to dull and stinky to fragrant and … well, you get the point, I'm sure. So there we have a God who yearns to share the sensations we get to have first-hand.

When we smell a rose or eat a tart or hear a song or dance till we're dizzy, God gets to share these sensations. I suspect that God created us so that God could FEEL. That's why we have all these pleasurable feelings that we give and receive through our bodies.

We are embodied spirits for a very good reason. And we better enjoy our bodies now, because I hear that when we're through with them we go back to being spirits free of body sensations and we join God in looking forward to recalling them as we see earth-bound enfleshed spirits enjoying what we used to feel. So when you are revelling in a massage or kiss or embrace or passionate erotic experience, remember you're doing it for God as well as yourself, so give it your all.